I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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