It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
