It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize