when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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