How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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