At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This house was built for laser tag.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
