i think my tv is drunk
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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