Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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