Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize