omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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