What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
