that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
