Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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