the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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