Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
