My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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