I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize