My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Randomize
