There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
