My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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