every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
