Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
