We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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