Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
