Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
