I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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