Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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