What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
