so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
