Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize