Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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