I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
