we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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