Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize