That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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