So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
