Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
