I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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