You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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