Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
