it hurts more in the daytime
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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