idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
