Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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