He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
