dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
