He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
