Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
