Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
