Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
