it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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