If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i believe in u and ur pee
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
