At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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