How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he thought i was a dude.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
