that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
