Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
