I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
