I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
