Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
