I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
