gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
