If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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